Listen Up
Posted on Thursday, 5 October 2023
We've discussed “Speaking-up”, and shared tools to help you raise issues and concerns with others. Listening when people raise concerns is the next step. We all know when someone isn’t really listening to us, and it doesn’t feel great.
We want people to be able to raise any concerns they have about the workplace. This means we have to be open to listening and asking questions (without being dismissive or defensive).
Listening is a skill that we can learn and develop just like any other skill from playing tennis to driving a car, and the more we practice it, the better at it we get.
When people take the time to raise an issue with us, we owe it to them to listen fully. How do we do this?
Here's a poor listening and an active listening example:
Person A: I’m concerned about what’s happening in xxx.
Person B: Yeah, that happened to me once too.
versus
Person A: I’m concerned about what’s happening in xxx.
Person B: Thanks for raising this with me. Tell me more about the situation/help me understand more about what happened and why it’s a concern to you.
Active listening phrases
There are some active listening phrases we can use to stay focused on the facts and remain neutral:
- It sounds like…
- It seems like…
- Tell me more…
- What I’m hearing is...
- What I think you’re telling me is...
- If I understand you right the key issue here is…
- Let me check this with you…
Then give them space to reply.
Here’s a 1-minute rule for being an active listener
- Focus on the other person’s wants, needs, and ideas instead of seeing how you fit your needs, wants, or ideas into the conversation.
- Be curious – try to learn something from every conversation. When you feel the temptation to return the conversation to you, stop and ask an open question instead. (An open question is one where you can’t answer with a yes or no.)
What if someone wants to talk to you but the timing isn’t great?
We all have competing demands on our attention. If you need to, you can ask the person to set up a time that will work for both of you, BUT you must go through with the session.
You could say something like: “I’m finding it hard to give you my full attention at the moment – but I really want to hear what you’re saying. Can you give me 10 minutes to finish this and then let’s catch-up”.
Then it's ideal if you can set the scene that you’re ready to listen e.g. put down your phone / turn off your computer screen.